Never quite finding a true sense of home…
By Kristi-Leigh Gresse
Upon my arrival at the Centre for Creative Arts on August 29th, 2023, I hastily entered the conference room, feeling slightly out of breath and agitated as I had arrived three minutes late to the inaugural meeting of the Screendance Residency program. Little did I know, the experience that awaited me beyond those doors would be unlike anything I had ever encountered. As I stepped inside, I was greeted by five other creatives who hailed from diverse backgrounds, all of whom were equally excited to embark on this journey with me. Despite the initial apprehension, I felt a sense of thrill and anticipation in my heart, knowing that this residency would be an adventure that would challenge and inspire me in ways I had yet to imagine.
Pak Ndjamena and Ivan Burros from Mozambique initially perplexed me, but after working with them, I consider them nothing short of remarkable individuals whom I now consider family. Their generosity and willingness to guide me through an immensely transformative process was truly humbling. They faced a daunting task, a flood of ideas, thoughts, emotions, feelings, and stories poured out as each member shared a glimpse into their lives. From that, a powerful concept was born.
During the past week, I had the pleasure of spending a significant amount of time exploring the intricate design of the University of KwaZulu-Natal Howard College Campus. It was truly a remarkable experience as I witnessed how the campus landscape was transformed into a vibrant canvas. The dance films that were created were unique to the site and were able to bring out the best in each other. The space occupied a crucial role in inspiring and reinforcing the group’s vision. The films were a direct response to the location, and the architecture of the space was used to influence the movement, images, and overall ambiance of the films.
During the residency, two films were created — “HOME” and “THREADS”. These films drew inspiration from the JOMBA! festival theme of “(In)tangible Heritages” and were crafted by each member in the shared space. Upon viewing them, it becomes clear that each film tells a distinct story, with a noticeable contrast between the two. The film “HOME” was born out of Sarahleigh Castelyn’s deep connection to the concept of home. It explores her relationship with the home she grew up in and the one she currently lives in, all the way across the world in the UK. The film is a poignant portrayal of her struggle to find a sense of belonging and to understand her place in both the world and her own body. Throughout the film, Castelyn is draped in a striking grey dress, with her long hair cascading over her face like a veil. As the story progresses, she gradually begins to emerge from the darkness that has held her captive. Though she never fully escapes its grasp, she is anchored to the present by memories of her lost innocence. The film is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit, even in the face of great adversity.
On the other hand, the film “THREADS” exudes a vibrant and lively aura with its textured and colorful elements that embody the essence of earth, light, colour and rhythm. The film is a personal account of my own emotions and experiences with regards to the concept of home. “THREADS” delves into the intricate cords that bind us together, the ones that run through us, dissect and interconnect us. The film commences at the UKZN Howard College bus stop, highlighting the evolution of migration and then proceeds to explore the various locations within the campus, leaving behind traces of our presence. From footprints to colorful beads, we adorned the space and left behind our (in)tangible essence. As our lineage is embedded and embodied on our physical selves, this film exposes the invisible but strongly felt core of our humanity and history that interconnects us.
After watching both of the films, which explore feelings of displacement and dislocation, a student journalist from Durban University of Technology asked me if I still feel like I don’t belong. My answer was that while I always feel a sense of not belonging, it’s not those moments that define where I feel at home. Through the collaborative process of creating these films, I’ve come to realize that home is truly where the heart is. It’s the people we share our lives with who deeply care for us that make us feel at home, and geography is only a small piece of what defines the meaning of home for me. Despite having loved ones scattered all over the world, it’s the moments of joy and love that I share with them that affirm my sense of belonging in this world. Ivan Barros, Pak Ndjamena, Sarahleigh Castelyn, Zinhle Khumalo, and Talent Mrev Khanyile, and every member of the JOMBA! Contemporary Dance Experiences have all reminded me that I am home, and they have become an irreplaceable part of my treasured family.
